We're Roommates and Best Friends: Deal With It.

We always talked about what it would be like to live together when we were older ... And here we are. (We're a few cats short of being spinsters, but we'll get there.)

Enjoy our adventures!

Brittany's Personal

Jen's Personal


ask us things
submit sounds so dirty

“

”
Me:
oh my god the heat's back on. you know what that means.
Jen:
no pants!
Me:
NO PANTS!
“ we don’t need your sass, jack hanna ”

jen (via gaylions)

Highlights from the fight our neighbors had last night, which Brittany pressed her ear against our shared wall to hear (she's her mother and mine) and then whispered for my benefit:
...
Her:
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
Him:
OH, THAT'S A BIG STATEMENT.
Brittany:
Oh, she just said the Great Wall of China!
...
Her:
Sometimes I wake up, and I think, "I should hook up with someone else." And other times I wake up, and I'm, like, "No! I love him!"
...
Him:
IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU THEN I'D BE BACK IN INDIA.
...
Him:
You've opened me up to a whole new world these past five years!
Brittany:
[singsong] "I can show you the world ..."
[Talking about my cat, Cappuccino.]
Me:
He sounds like a squeak-toy.
Brittany:
Well, y'know what he's not? A CHEW TOY. Y'know why? BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY TEETH! AHAHAHAHA!
Me:
...
Brittany:
I made me laugh.
we really are

we really are

(Source: newgirlss)

“ CHEESECAKE! ”

jen screaming this OVER AND OVER AGAIN as i was ordering food earlier today (via gaylions)

this is officially a thing

(via jendaviswashere)

“ i see a black rapper and just think kanye. because secretly i’m just hoping it’s him. ”

jen after thinking the picture of p. diddy with a one dollar bill was kanye west (via gaylions)

… it’s true ._.

(via jendaviswashere)

jendaviswashere:

gaylions:

jen’s been sporting the disappointed disgusted face for a good 5 minutes now and she’s not even high

gaylions:

jendaviswashere:

gaylions:

jendaviswashere:

gaylions:

my roommate just came out of the bathroom said “don’t go in there” and grabbed a pair of rubber gloves

i

HEY

AT LEAST I WARNED YOU

NOT GOOD ENOUGH JEN NOW I’M AFRAID TO PEE

I FIXED THE FUCKING TOILET OKAY

JUST GO PEE

I’M ONLY LIKE 5 SIPS INTO MY CAN OF MONSTER DON’T TRY TO FORCE IT

“ it was supposed to be a peaceful experience and then it just turned into that monstrosity ”

my roommate trying to explain how she broke our toilet (via gaylions)

Why did someone like this? THIS WAS A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE FOR ME.

(via jendaviswashere)

well it was funny as fuck for me so

(via gaylions)

I JUST WANTED RELIEF

(via jendaviswashere)

Brittany:
Jen I can't be homeless all the hobos get picked off first during the zombie apocalypse
Me:
Hobo with a Shotgun?
Brittany:
You mean the entire Midwest?
Me:
Omg
Brittany:
No but seriously they may not all be homeless but they are definitely all hobos
Me:
And it's statistically proven that they all own guns
Brittany:
I hope Obama takes away their guns, kicks them in the crotch, and gives them free dental coverage while saying "this ain't the UK, son."
Brittany:
I wanna got to Disney World right now.
Jen:
I wanna eat.
Brittany:
... Wait. My life's ambition right now is to go to Disney World -- and your response is "I wanna eat"?
Jen:
FUCK YOU

we’re talking about helena bonham carter divorcing tim burton because of his next movie-pitch starring her as the lead female

we are funny-ass motherfuckers

“ See, it [Alice in Wonderland]’s, like, making fun of the fact that dodo’s are extinct — that’s like making fun of the Holocaust. ”

gaylions

we’re both stoned and i’m still a little drunk and we’ve already said some glorious things but have also forgotten them

we are watching alice in wonderlonnnnn

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